The Social Services Are WRONG.'s Journal|
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The Social Services Are WRONG.'s LiveJournal:
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|Monday, May 4th, 2009|
I noticed that there's been some activity in the community lately. Therefore, I thought it might be worth posting an update on what's been happening since I posted three years ago.
I've been in seven traumatic foster homes, the last one by far the most damaging. I lost my mum to cancer when I was fifteen and in the midst of the most abusive home, as I wrote in my last entry here. Since I managed to escape in 2005, I've been staying at friends' houses so I could finish school. I did that for two years, living with one friend in particular which was a bit difficult as I didn't have a bedroom. I finally ended up finding a rented room a few miles away where I stayed another year to finish my last year of A-levels.
Cutting to present day, I'm relieved to say that after so many years of foster care and being passed on from home to home, I managed to get three straight A's in my A-levels and now go to Cardiff University. Unfortunately, care leavers who manage to do well at school are in the extreme minority, so anyone who is one should be extremely proud. I knew it was my only escape from the instability I'm used to, hence why I worked so hard.
I finally got the strength to see a therapist for the lasting effects of abuse in foster care. I've been diagnosed with (Complex) Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Major Depression, and I've been having cognitive therapy for four months now on top of medication that I have to take permanently until further notice. My therapist and the mental health nurse I've seen have both repeatedly expressed how they can't believe I got this far despite what happened.
So yeah... finally out of the care system and close to living normally now. That only took what, half of my life?
|Friday, March 2nd, 2007|
Firstly I'd like to express my most heartfelt thanks for this community. I've been caught in the web of lies that is social services for over four years now and I've never had any support from people who know what I'm talking about before.
I'm a 21 year old London mother of 2 beautiful children.
Both of whom are on full care orders.
I was 16 when I had my daughter. She's the best mistake I ever made.
The first few months of her life were the most amazing of mine. Waking up to her smile was the only thing I needed.
I did all the right things, I breastfed (in my opinion the single best thing any mother can ever do for her child), I went to mother and baby groups, baby massage, made my own baby food from organic fruit and vegetables, she had a routine and although cramped with my father, me, my daughter's father and my daughter in a 2 bedroom flat we were happy.
Then disaster struck and Megen's father resumed his old violent ways. It only took one incident, resulting in a hole in the wall, before I knew I couldn't handle this man anymore.
Everything went downhill from there. Although he was an arse, I did care about my daughter's father, and with the stress of returning to college I became depressed.
To cut a long story short it ended with my daughter being taken into care on January 28th 2003.
What has followed has been 4 years of lies, of a social worker saying one thing in one conversation and denying they said it the next time I speak to them.
Here's three classic examples.
End of February 2003, contact session with my daughter. Afterwards myself and daughter's grandmother (her father's mother) had a meeting with my daughter's then social worker (Westminster social services if anyone's interested - a so called 3 star department) to discuss the general situation. At that meeting we specifically asked if the courts were going to become involved. The social worker lied to our faces and said no. The next day my daughter's father was served with court papers. I never recieved any. If it wasn't for the phone call from my daughter's grandmother I never would've known. We were given 3 days to find a lawyer. And of course social services got their care order.
End of September 2003. Final court hearing. Agreed care plan is that I would finish my education then we would look at my daughter coming home. I agreed to the care plan as I still hadn't learnt my lesson about social services.
Within a month the care plan had been rewritten to my daughter remaining in the care of her grandmother until she turns 18. 3 and a half years later it's still the same.
I have SIX contact sessions a year. They cut it down from twice a week FOR NO REASON. This was 2 years ago. I've been fighting to get an explanation for this entire time and I've never been given one.
My final example happened only this morning. I also have a 2 year old son who was taken from me after a biased residential and pyschiatric assesment.
I had to rearrange a contact session (of which I have 4 a YEAR) last week due to a hospital appointment. The social work assistant I spoke to said that they would rearrange contact for either this monday or today. I said that was fine and awaited her call to confirm the day. I had a missed call on my mobile at noon yesterday from her and called straight back only to speak to some receptionist. I waited all day for a call back, and when I didn't recieve one presumed it wasn't urgent and decided to call on monday. I got a call this afternoon asking if I was on my way!!! They'd got my son and his father down to the contact centre without telling me about contact.
This is the fouth maybe fifth time they've got either me or my son down to the centre and not told the other party that contact was happening.
If it wasn't so heartbreaking it'd be funny.
So that's my introduction.
Somehow I've survived this for four years. Don't ask me how.
I'm so glad to have found somewhere I can get this stuff out. I was damn near exploding.
Thanks again for this community and it's nice to meet you all.
|Monday, November 24th, 2008|
i just joined. I have lost my daughter twice now. first time for the fact that i was sick for a month and bed ridden. my house got bad. so we got her back. then the social services had someone in my home who decided to call my landlord and threaten him. so landlord proceeded to evict us.(rent was paid, just didn't want us there because of CPS involvement.) then the motel we moved into, I was suffering from endometriosis and i bled through onto the sheets(unable to help it). so the motel kicked us out. and they took my girl again. the first time she was taken she regressed to the point of refusing to talk. they moved her six times in three months. the second time she ended up with a great foster mom, so she did well. we have her back now and are going to court dec 1 to hopefully close our case. yet we still have it hanging over our heads till may at minimum. In Ok it is a felony to have a dirty house.... if we screw up we end up in jail for life and loosing the only thing that ever mattered.... Current Mood: indescribable
|Thursday, September 14th, 2006|
Scholarships for the disabled
I thought it might be a good idea to compile a database of scholarships for the disabled, focusing on college students but not exclusively so. If you would like to be apart of this, either to supply information or to receive the final file, look up this post title on creactiv_voice
for further instructions.
|Tuesday, September 12th, 2006|
|Friday, September 1st, 2006|
Have you seen this?
Evictions off campus due to suicide attempts OR admission to a hospital for depression
I was outraged when I did. The last thing a depressed student needs is to be immediately tossed onto the streets. Yes I understand that these colleges/universities may not have the resources nor the necessitity to build mental institutions on campus, but certainly they should be required to treat their fellow human beings with some measure of dignity, if not even a trace of compassion. I do not accept the premise that they are seeking whats in the students' best interests. I wonder if in fact they are serving their own, in seeking shelter for their insurance policies away from legal storms. The problem for them is that within the ADA the legal standard for individuals with disabilities is the most integrated policies possible, in concurrence with the standards specified by the individual's treatment providers. There are certain factors that need to be considered here, such as whether or not the students could be defined under the law as persons with disabilities, etc. Even if these institutions of learning are safe due to these specific circumstances, it seems they are building their campus policies on quicksand rather than modern legal ethics.
|Saturday, July 29th, 2006|
|Thursday, May 25th, 2006|
I just want to say that I'm really happy this community exists, and that I think there really needs to be a proper forum for people who have blatantly been wronged by social services, myself included.
Without sharing my story, I just want to say that I applaud the strength of those who have posted before me. It takes a lot of courage to stand up and speak out against people who have neglected you, put you down, and tried to keep you there. Not only should it hopefully empower those who have already spoken, but those who have yet to speak. Current Mood: hopeful
|Monday, February 20th, 2006|
In November 2004, my mum passed away from cancer. The foster carers I was placed with blamed me for her "murder", although I wasn't responsible for her disease. They took this advantage to abuse me both mentally and physically as I didn't have any blood family in the country to help me. After a year of mental and physical abuse, I escaped to Belgium to my blood family (well, my dad) because I couldn't take it anymore. I'm now in a terrible mental state which I need a lot of therapy for, especially after a good 7 abusive foster homes since the age of 8. I've now just turned 17, and my friend offered to let me live with her so I'm staying here.
I find it sickening how I was officially left homeless in the UK, and had to travel to another country for shelter. At only 16. They found another crappy home for me in London, but 20 minutes before I left my dad's to go to live there, I got a phone call telling me the carers just left the country and that they were going to put me in a foster home I'd already been stuck in before, where they'd taken me hostage. I refused to go and that's when my friend let me stay with her.
I was not helped at all by Social Services. They overlooked all the years of abuse I've had to endure. And couldn't help me when I was homeless when I was thrown out. Nice work.
|Monday, May 9th, 2005|
I'm writing on behalf of my friends Alexandra and Rapheal Spindell, whose child Andrei Love was taken away from them by ASC 9 months ago. Since then, they have been unable to retrieve their child, who has been moved from one foster home to another because of foster-parent neglect. A & R were responsible parents, highly knowledgeble in nutrition and child development. In court, the judge focuses on their veganism, and the fact that Alexandra delivered Andrei in a home-birth. Facts about Andrei's health before he was taken from them are not discussed.
I don't know what most of you can do, probably nothing, but please read their story
, and spread it if you can. They are very good people, and what is happening to them is cruel and disgusting. Andrei's childhood is also being destroyed.****
|Friday, April 1st, 2005|
|Wednesday, March 30th, 2005|
Stop Domestic Abuse
First, I would like to apologize for disabling comments. The reason is that this banner links back to the entry where this banner originated, and there is a long essay there about my views on corporal punishment and child abuse, and I'd like to keep all discussion, comments, and questions in one place. Please understand that I do NOT
consider corporal punishment and child abuse equivalent. But you can read about that in my journal, and comment there, too.
The main message I am spreading is this: Domestic violence goes on far too much unchecked.
"Corporal punishment", quite often (although not always, obviously), are simply words used to disguise domestic violence. Please. Let's put a stop to this. The home should be a safe place. And spread the word.
|Wednesday, October 13th, 2004|
Anyone have experience with welfare?
Nice to meet you all. I'm looking for individuals that have either worked/work as a welfare social worker, or are going through the process themselves. I'm doing a college research project for my "Families Living in Poverty Class", and it would be a pleasure to interview you via email or however you wish to learn about the project and ask your opinions on the current state of welfare. We've tried going to the offices ourselves but were turned away each time because we're a "waste of time" and most were very reluctant to give us any information. Please please help me out if you can.
|Wednesday, September 1st, 2004|
I was involved with Social Services once. They took my home, my family, my life. I'm now at an internet cafe with the money that I make for the day from pan handling. See, whenever I was Social services came and took me away and left me in a foster home. And, the foster parents sold me to drug dealers to get drugs. And, I ran away from there with nowhere to go...I now clean McDonalds Cubickles for a living making $2.00 an hour. And, it doesn't even taken an hour to clean two cubickles. In my own words, Social services suck!
Just confirming I'm not from Social Services or anything...
I'm Lara and I'm from London (UK). I'm a 15 year old girl and I've been involved with SS since I was 8.
Social Services put me with a 62 year old perverted man in Hertfordshire with no teeth, cateracts, no hair, his skin hanging off in folds, and about 10 tattoos (one was of a man peeing..) who was a chain smoker and liked to treat me badly. He was called Danny. He didn't even allow me to take my medication or pain killers (I'd just come out of the hospital after a month with a blood and bone infection). I've since run away and I'm temporarily back with my mum.
I've been in a few different foster homes because my mum has cancer and kidney failure and is always in the hospital. I've been treated badly by mostly all of them, and one time I was held hostage. Last time I was in foster care, with Danny, I wasn't allowed to use the phone to call out and tell people how he was treating me. I now have permanent physical damage because he had my medication locked in his room he'd rarely give it to me when I needed it.
Now they're forcing me to go back to foster care, for no given reason, and I'm going to have to switch schools in the middle of my GCSE course.
Social Services works for their own benefit, not other peoples' like it seems.
|Thursday, June 3rd, 2004|
I saw Shawn yesterday(Wed) at the jail. We have to talk thru phones but at least we get to see each other,20 minutes goes fast. But, today got worse. The foster care worker called me to inform me that Nikki and Shawn Jr. are being moved out of their current home. Nikki is going to Coldwater, 2 hours away and Shawn Jr, I don't know where he is going. She told me they were being moved because of the care they "aren't" getting at the place they are. When the foster mom called me tonite she said she was told it was because the kids are having too much contact with me. The latter is probably more true. Nikki called just a little while ago and she was crying and had just about lost it. Right now she is calling her best friend and then will call me bback later. Her and Bobbi have been attached at the hip since kindergarden and they haven't talked in a few weeks. Kinda like withdrawal symptoms. My brother hasn't given me an answer yet. I hope they can say yes. I asked the caseworker if she was really gonna push to have my rights revoked and she said yes.
I am so worn down from the last 3 years of this BS that right now I don't feel anything. I feel for my kids but I just don't feel for myself anymore.
I wish I knew somebody who could write this as a book, just to show what the "system" does to innocant people. To show the "flaws" in the system. I"m dreaming again.
Leave a comment Current Mood: enraged, frustrated,
|Wednesday, May 26th, 2004|
well shawn is in his third week in jail without work release. I hope the court appointed lawyer can get a motion hearing soon. without his income it's gonna get pretty hard around here. and to add to everything, my case worker can bring me up for contempt of court for violating the no unsupervised time with the kids. if you remember this post from 3 months ago the judge gave me weekends but then a provision was added that the kids' therapist had to approve any visits. yes, yes I know what i did was against the court orders but when my kids call and are at the point of killing each other.....i would just go get them for the weekend.
There is also a possibility of her starting termination proceedings on my parental rights. Shawn is back at court tomorrow for the final arguments and the judges verdict.
i am about going crazy with all the bull shit going on. i just want it all to end.
I still haven't found a job. i went down to the Social Security office and applied for SSI and SSD. i guess i am "officialy" disabled now. whoopee!!!
People have told me for the past 3 years that "it will all work out" I am not so sure. Current Mood: depressed
|Wednesday, May 5th, 2004|
just a quick note before i go see the kids....the judge revoked his work release this morning. he can appeal it but he has no lawyer now. i really don't know what we are gonna do...
no job for him means no house for me and the kids (if they ever come home) Current Mood: frustrated
|Sunday, May 2nd, 2004|
My name is Sue, I am a lousy typist, so if this goes all small letters it's because I'm lazy,too.
My story is going on 3 years old in june. my now 17 yo girl is in a psychiatric hospital, my 14 yo girl and 12 yo boy are in foster care, and my husband is doing a year in jail for a crime he didn't do, but he wasn't gonna take a chance on a trial and maybe get life in prison.
My personal feelings about cps and foster care is that there is a lot of changes needed to fix this horribly biased system. you are guilty just because a kid says so. what happened to investigation? or even listening to the parents? I gave cps medical records about Tracie,(the oldest) that showed she was developmently delayed and all sorts of other stuff, i don't think anybody read them. AND, even if my husband had gone to trial and was found not guilty the family court wouldn't have to honor it because the system is different in family court.
criminal= beyond a reasonable doubt
family= a preponderance of evidence or is/was it possible?
so nothing ever gets investigated.
the way my husbands sentencing reads, he can't come home after jail is done, untill both kids are over 16, if they ever let them come home.I know our love is strong enough but I don't know if I can "physically" hold on that long. i have M.S. and the body doesn't always do what I want it to.
Here i go feeling sorry for myself when i know other people have it worse.
Hi to everybody!! Current Mood: drained
|Saturday, May 1st, 2004|
My Horror Story
My future stepdaughter had been coming home between the hours of 2:00 a.m. and 4:00 a.m. (if she even came home) on a consistent basis, and she had alcohol in her room. She also had high number of unexcused absences from school, and she rarely told her father where she was going or where she had been. When her father simply tried to take the car keys away from her, as any normal parent would do if faced with the same circumstances, she ran to Social Services the next day and cried abuse. Because she had one
bruise on the back of her right hand after she busted in the apartment door, they found her father guilty of child abuse. I witnessed everything, but they never bothered to interview me, and we have evidence proving that they wrote and sent the referal to the District Attornery prior to reviewing the police reports. To read more about this story, click here
. Current Mood: angry